Rainy Day Rumination

To Live, To Breath, is to be the expression of the divine in this plane of existence. If you believe that in the beginning "God" breathe the breath of life into us all. If you believe that "in his image created he them." Then you must treat each and every person as if you are dealing directly with God himself, regardless their behavior. By seeing the divine in all humanity, you display your own divinity. I truly believe this is why Jesus said "By this shall all men know you are mine, if you have love..." Love is the motive and the answer. Love is the Divine. Blessings on this rainy ATL Saturday Fam! OneLove

Intentions for Love

I want to be someone's priority.

I want to be their waking dream.

I want to see starlight in their eyes

   as they look at me.

I want to know what love swept

   means. 

I want to be the blessed gift of

   GodDess

Not the consolation prize

And if they never said "I love you"

I'd want to see it in their eyes.

I want to be wanted so intensely 

That hearts quake in anticipation

   of my arrival.

I want to be a choice

Not obligation for survival.

I want to be loved for who I am

Not twisted and folded to fit a mold.

I want to be loved from the heart

And cherished by the soul.

I deserve to be someone's Queen, 

   wife, beloved 

If that's what I want to be,

And I deserve someone

Who wants that of me.

I'm worthy to be loved

Completely, sublimely, divinely,

I'm holding on to the hope that

"That Love" will someday find me.

"HAPPY" New Year

2012 was not the best year of my life. However the mere fact that I am still here to proclaim that puts me ahead of some. So, I am grateful for the strength of character and fortitude that has allowed me to make it through. I am grateful to the Most Beloved for allowing me to still be here. I am also grateful that though the rest of my life seemed in upheaval as 2012 drew to close, my creative expression, my musical career to is moving ahead steadily. So as I bid the old year adieu and greeting the new year, I want to make a few declarations:


Things I left in 2012: Self Doubt, Defining myself by others standards, Compromising my values for the comfort of others, Discontent.
Things I am embracing in 2013: Self Love, Remaining steadfast to my values as I accept the inevitable change of life, Realizing my full potential, Choosing/Being Happy. 
New Years Day Affirmation: I FULLY intend to be happy in 2013...by ANY means necessary!


Wishing us ALL a very safe, satisfying and productive new year!
Happy New Year All!

Take Me to the Water...

 

Take me down to the river to be baptized.

Let me dip down in the river Jordan and rise anew

Let the rush of the Congo's rapid currents purge my heart of doubt

Surely there are cleansing waters that can heal my weary soul.

Let me lap in the waves of the Euphrates

And wade knee deep in the mighty Mississippi

Can I float to the Nile's fertile delta?

There, basking in the amniotic fluid of all humanity 

I can be born anew.

Surely there a cleansing waters that can heal my weary soul.

Take me to the water

One (The Heart of Worship)

“And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:” John 17:22

My recent gallbladder surgery allowed me a moment of stillness that I haven’t had in a very long time. For the first time in months I was afforded time that wasn’t crowded with things from my endless “To Do” list. Due to the trauma my body had experienced I couldn’t do much physically. However I did get a chance to do something that I hadn’t had time for in a long time. I was able to spend hours meditating and praying, communing with the divine.

Don’t get me wrong. I pray daily. When I rise in the morning, when I lay my head to rest at night, I always take a few moments to acknowledge my gratitude for the experience of life. But it has been a long time since I was able to spend hours in uninterrupted bliss with the Most Beloved. I so enjoyed it and am convinced it helped to facilitate my recovery.

As I returned to work this week I found I was in wonderful spirit and in a place of introspective contemplation. It is from that place that I mentally and experientially explore the concept of worship. Most spiritual traditions the world over have some form of veneration that is performed. Most believe these acts to be to appease some deity or garner some favorable allowance form that deity. On the surface that may be the case. But when one looks underneath the veil with Spirit’s eyes we see a deeper meaning.

As a seeker on the path I have explored many expressions of spirituality. As with all organizations in this physical realm there are some who participate for the sheer glory of recognition and the feeling of belonging. I’ve found however that the majority of those who participate in any spiritual practice are there on a true quest. Some seek knowledge, others faith, but I believe at the heart of all who seek is one deep seated motive. That which is divine in us all seeks to reunite with the divine source of all.

This is the force that drives both the Christian and the Muslim to their knees. Every chant the Buddhist and Hindi utter is to this end. With every shake of the shamans rattle and every song the Sufi sings is this desire. As I contemplated worship from both an external and internal place I came to this conclusion: Worship is when the divine within perceives and awe-fully acknowledges the divine source of all that is without. It is the intimacy of oneness. Every act of worship regardless the religion is an attempt to reach this place.

This brings to mind one of my favorite Christian scriptures and shines a new light of understanding on it. In John chapter 17 we are given a prayer that Jesus prays for his disciples and all of humanity really. He repeatedly asks for God to make them (us) one as they (he & God) are one. In verse 22 he says that the glory he had on earth all came from this “oneness” and he bequeaths it to us as he prepares to leave the planet. It seems to me now from this new place of understanding that Jesus was saying: I was able to be all I was and do all I did because I was able to reunite my personal divinity with the Divine source of all, and you can do it too. What a wonderful idea. Is it any wonder that so much of humanity spends so much time in houses of worship all over this planet?

Something in us understands that we have divine origins and we are all striving to embody that in this physical realm. The Most Beloved knows this and has given us such wonderful & diverse ways to access it. But it all begins with the desire. I believe this desire is at the heart of every human on the planet and therefore at the base of every religious expression no matter how diverse. I guess in this way we are all one.

Happy Birthday

In 2 days I will complete my 38th year on the planet. I can honestly say that though I am not where I thought I would be at this age, I am much more focused, inspired, determined and just plan happy than I was 10 years ago. I remember on my 28th birthday feeling this panic; as though time was running out for me. I had not accomplished even half of what I had mapped out on the 10 year plan I made for myself when I was 13 and updated every year after to keep it consistently 10 years (yes, I’m a Capricorn). I felt like if I didn’t get things going I would realize the worst nightmare a Capricorn soul could have. I would be a failure. Now here I stand 10 years later and though I am a little short of the goals set I am so much richer for having lived those years. In that time I learned quite a few things 1) YOU have to love and believe in YOU before anything will ever happen. 2) Each day is another chance to get it right (no judgment). 3) Dreams may or may not come true, but they definitely won’t if you don’t try. 4) If you’re special to just 1 person, you are special and lastly I learned the lesson that my parents tried to teach me long ago Be loving, Be Kind, but most importantly, Be YOU!

So as I bring a close to this 38th year and prepare for the next I do so full of the hope and wonder of youth and supported by the wisdom and experience of age. I am back in school now. I am making and selling Jewelry. I am writing and making music. I am forging ahead with the knowledge that life isn’t perfect but it’s well worth the living. And I am excited at the possibilities that live on the other side of all these lessons I have learn. There is no limit to what can happen. Happy B’earth Day to ME!

How I Got Over (A Hair Raising Tale)

Last year about this time I cut out my locs. It was a decision I came to after months of deliberation. They hung down my back and fell to my waist right at my hips. They had become weighty and no matter what style I put them in my neck could find no relief. So, after 5 years of growth I cut my very long, very beautiful locs. I felt liberated; free!
Soon after cutting them I began to realize what had actually transpired in my life over the 5 years I had been growing my locs. I initially started locking because I was going through a personal transition and wanted a physical representation of what I was going through emotionally and psychologically. I was becoming someone new and wanted to look different.
During that time of transition in my life I grew immensely. And I'm sure by now most of us know that growth is rarely achieved in comfort. I actually experienced more discomfort than I had ever in my life. I faced my fears in a way that allowed me to see passed my own facade and embraced the fact that I actually had fears. I dealt with loss of people, places, things and ideas. I lost confidence and hope and found them all again in the course of those 5 yrs. And my dreams once vibrant dimmed with deference. But at the end of it all I felt stronger, more equipped and renewed in hope that all things were possible. It was at this point the locs became more than I could bear. So I cut them to release myself from all the weight of self doubt that had plagued me for all those years. But when I decided to let go of them I also decided I wouldn't just cut it all away.
So I painstakingly raked out each loc over the course of two weeks. Was my hair fragile and damaged after this process? Of course it was. But I retained enough hair to compliment me in the way I needed physically; and with it the lessons hard learned in the preceding years. Day by day I nurtured my hair and my confidence back to fullness understanding that both could be restored.
Once again I stand at the precipice of change but this time there is something so wonderfully inspiring about it. I feel that full body charge that comes from knowing you are following your own path and it’s the right one for you. AND I miss my locs.
I am glad I let them go. Letting go of them allowed me to shift energy and release weight. It allowed me to embrace the me I birthed after so many nights of labor; the new, shining me full of the hope of youth and the wisdom of experience; the me who for the first time ever is as close to whole as she has ever been. With that wholeness I embark on a new “locking” journey.
This time I start the journey understanding the divinity within. I journey with the wide-eyed enthusiasm often saved for youth. I journey with the wisdom of the sages. I journey understanding my unique place in the schema of humanity and joyfully embracing it. This time what weighed me down, will be the symbol of my meteoric rise.
So this weekend while some work to be THE fright of the night. And still others observe the holiness that abounds. I will be celebrating the holy triumph over my own fears by restarting my locs. I am starting them myself just as I did before. This time as I twist I will smile at all that is wonderful and right in my life and set the tone for more positivity to come. I feel so grateful for my hair that has suffered through all my many incarnations always returning for the next go round.
I know some might say this is a “whole lot over some hair do!” But it is not so much about the hairdo as the place and space in time it has represented. I am not celebrating my hair as much as I am celebrating overcoming. I now understand the old gospel song a little bit better. “My soul looks back and wonders how I got over.” That doesn’t just happen on the other side. It happens in the very here and now. And when it does you must take the time to acknowledge it. So, that next time around you won’t have to wonder…You will have full understanding that it is your divine nature to be an Overcomer.