Esther-For Such a "Child" as Me

“…And who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” ~Esther4:14b

I have learned so much by watching my mother and it has affected the way I am in the world. Her grace and style inspired me to my own stylish endeavors. Her resourcefulness is my guide weekly as I remember the things she taught me when I do my grocery shopping. Her creativity inspired me to be creative in so many ways (especially my crochet). Her love of God is always an example to me as I continue on my own spiritual journey. But if I were forced to pick one thing about my Mommy that I loved the most, it would be her ability to make you feel like you matter regardless of how you may be seen in the world.
Growing up I was never the average bear (LOL). I was always my own person with my own ideas that didn’t always fit with the world around me. I know that’s hard to believe but it’s true. *SMILE* But as different as I may have been from people my own age my mother never allowed me to feel less in her presence. I remember one time when I was in high school, I was complaining about how the kids would make fun of my fashion choices but then would be wearing the exact same things a few months later. My mother said to me “that’s because you’re a trend setter not a trend follower.” I’ve been using that pearl of wisdom ever since. As a child she always treated me like a person, not just her kid. She was always willing to learn from me just as much as she taught me and this made me feel valued. I think that is the greatest gift a mother can ever give to a child.
Of all the women in the world I could have been born to, the Great Divine allowed me to enter this mortal plane through the womb of Esther Mae Kemp Brown. Never has there been a woman who has lived up to her name more than she. In Hebrew the name means “Hidden.” In Persian it means “Star.” And she truly is a hidden star that shines brightly in the galaxy of her family and the people who love her; though others outside that realm may never see it. Like the North Star she is this illumination by which you navigate you life, providing light as you traverse the world’s highways but always pointing you in the direction home. I’m not sure there was anyone as suited as she to be my mother. She was brought to the “kingdom for such a time as this; “ for a child such as me. For this I am so very grateful.

Our Mother-The Holy Spirit

“Sometimes I feel like a motherless, child a long way from home.” ~Traditional Negro Spiritual~

I was born into a very religious family. My father was a Pentecostal preacher. Both of my maternal grandparents were Pentecostal preachers. Five of my mother’s eleven siblings were preachers. Did I mention I come from a very religious family? (Smile)

Growing up in such a rich protestant Christian community exposed me to Christian scripture early and the many and varied expressions of “the one God” that lay within its pages. I saw God as Father and all the things “father” symbolizes in a patriarchal society; protector, provider, disciplinarian, leader, authoritarian. I also saw God as Son; obedient, sacrificial, compliant to “the will of the Father.” But where was the Mother?
If it is truly “in earth as it is in heaven” Surely there had to be a feminine aspect to God. The concept and design for woman had to be based on something. After all it is said the conversation was “let us make man in OUR image…male and female created he them” It was the missing piece of the story that I always wanted to know. The question I needed answered.

Over the years of my life my relationship with the Almighty Mighty grew and with it my appreciation for how spirituality was express throughout the world and in diverse cultures. I began to study and research about the spiritual practices of many different indigenous people throughout the globe. The more I learned about these other expressions of divinity the better I understood my own. I also discovered a recurring theme that appeared in most of these practices; a balance of masculine and feminine. There was a coming together of male and female to create, protect and guide humanity. If it was present everywhere, surely it was present in the spiritual teachings of my own religious expression as well. Another thing I noticed was the forms that the aspects Masculine and Feminine took in other spiritual practices. I saw the male aspect portrayed as conceptual, ethereal, and abstract. Though Spirit, He expressed in a very mental way. He was often larger than life and always seen apart from one’s self. I witnessed female being portrayed as tactile, tangible, sometimes sensual, but most importantly a presence that was ever available and always with you; even in you. As I returned to biblical study with these archetypal constructs it was easy to see there was a feminine aspect, a Goddess, if you will who remain shrouded but still very present.

What do we think of when we think of femininity or female qualities in the traditional sense? Some words that come to mind are comforting, nurturing, helpful, encouraging, guiding (in a motherly sense). All these are words that are used to describe the Holy Spirit in the bible. Equally when you look at the female principle expressed in other religions you not only see the previously mentioned qualities you also see strong, powerful, transformative qualities in their female deities. These are also words that are used to describe the Holy Spirit in the bible. She had been right in front of me the whole time

I do believe that it is ”in earth as it is in heaven” and just like on earth when a child is deprived full access to all of her origins she feels incomplete and is perpetually searching to fill the void left by ignorance. So it is spiritually when we are deprived of the full knowledge of our origin. Yes I know as Christians the main aspiration is to be in the image of Christ. But even he explained himself as the “expressed image of God.” He had a role model in which he could find himself, a pattern to emulate. As females following his path how do we see ourselves? I also know that “there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus,” but as a Christian female is there no eternal expression of divinity, that looks like me after whom I can emulate? Let us not forget that though the men who wrote the scriptures were inspired by the Almighty, they were still men subject to the times in which they lived. And those who translated those texts from their original languages to English were also subject not only to the time in which they lived but also the dictates of the governments they worked under.

I am sharing this as a revelation that I have found to be true in my life. It has deepened my relationship with the Almighty; having this understanding that there is a part of the Great Divine that looks like me. It has been a homecoming to a universal truth that I believe was always meant to be know and understood (Matt 13:11). She who has ears to hear, let her hear.

*If you are interested in the subject matter in this post I will be offering a two day workshop that deal with it more in depth. Stay tuned for times and dates.*

~art by Hrana Janto~