Love's In Need...

I was a militant teen, mainly because I experienced racism daily in the white suburb my daddy moved us to when I was eight. I was militant in my thinking all through college. Then I embarked on a truly spiritual path at 23 and worked to transform myself and access the spirit essence/divinity within. I became ordained in a couple different spiritual expressions. During this path I shook off militancy for a broader view that divine order takes care of things & that the law of reciprocity eventually catches up with everyone.

However, Since the execution of Troy Davis I've been feeling a new direction to my call. Though the law of reciprocity is real, it works when we all play our part in the grand design. Sometime Justice doesn't come until you call for it. In light of the recent event in #Ferguson I find myself working to balance feelings within that would draw me back to militancy. I am then reminded by the spirit within that love is the strongest force on the planet and will defeat hate in the end. I do believe it to be true but "what about this genocide happening right before my very eyes?! Surely, Something has to be done about it right?!" I ask Spirit.
"Indeed something has to be done, but mind your motivation," Spirit says. It was the change of perspective I needed.

So, I move forward in love, today. Love & value for the lives of Troy Davis, Trayvon Martin, Renisha McBride, Rekia Boyd, Michael Brown and all of the other black and brown babies who are being disposed of by a society that does not see their worth. Love for their mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers who are robbed of their presence. Love for a community that will never know and benefit from the potential of their contribution because their lives were cut short. My love for them and all the black and brown babies and their mothers who deserve to walk the streets in their own country and not worry about making it back home at night, will be my motivation as I move forward in my call for the end of this American genocide!

If Love IS the greatest force on the planet and I believe that it is, then I will use it to make a change.

Daddy's Girl

I am a Daddy’s girl. There is no denying it. For years I fought against the notion that I was so much like him, but the older I get the more I see how much of an influence he had on the process of me becoming me; and you know what, that’s a good thing. Don’t get me wrong Growing up with Leon A. Brown wasn’t all ice cream and ponies. He was strict, a disciplinarian. But he was also very loving and playful. He was a constant presence in my life not just some shadow that cast his essence your way when all conditions were right. He was a Father.

You know the kind that you read about in classic novels and Greek tragedies. Beautifully human. He made sure that I had the most comfortable life that he could provide and I must admit I was much more privileged than I realized at the time. But the biggest gift I think he ever gave me as a developing child on into my young adult year was the belief that I could do anything I wanted in life. This man who was a product of a time so much different than the one that I was born into understood that in my time the only limits to my success would be of my own making. He taught me to never let someone tell me I couldn’t do or be something because I was black or female. He always said “you can do anything you set your mind to.” What a gift; the gift of limitless possibility.

And if there was anyone who knew this was true it was him. He left the Bahamas as a teenager and ventured to a foreign land where he knew almost no one. He carved out a life for himself and realized his own “American Dream” complete with wife kids and a big house in the suburbs. It wasn’t easy but he never believed it wasn’t possible.

This thought has fueled me through most of my life. It has been the catalyst to many adventures and the anchoring thought when making difficult decisions. When you look at the expanse of my life one might say “Well you don’t seem all successful or rich or powerful” and this may be true. But I can say that where I am today is truly of my own making. I didn’t what I chose and I never let anyone dictate my destiny to me. Because of this I have learned so much just from the living of life that I would never have experienced had I been too afraid t or let someone tell me I couldn’t do something. And this wisdom still drives me.

I am going back to school at 37. I am self-producing a musical CD. I am writing a memoir, and I am being me to the absolute fullest. And there is no one who could ever make me believe that any of this isn’t possible. Why because my daddy told me years ago that it was.
Having him in my life daily as I was growing up was invaluable. His presence made all the difference in the world. I can’t imagine having become the person I am today without him there. He was the compliment to all the practical application knowledge that my mom gave. Between the both of them I became the dreamer equipped with the skills to make them come true. For this I am very grateful.

SOLITUDE

original by Kenyetta chinwe(Angela Y. Brown)

I wanted to post this during the Valentine's day season but I was experiencing technical difficulties with my Internet. So, for your consideration here is my take on loving, losing and self-love.

In the silence of my solace
I learn to love you
Not because you are perfect
Because you are you.

In the quiet of my contemplation
I learn to love myself
For who I am
Despite what I think I lack.

It has been said
That love is wasted on the young.
And the older I get
I find it to be true.

When I was 20
Love meant a pretty face, a beautiful smile
A halo of hearts dancing around our heads
And stars in our eyes.

Now all I expect of love
Is a gentle touch, an open heart
Words of respect
And honor

I guess I should thank you
For this solitude in which I abide
Without It I’d have waited to learn
That it’s okay to love you
But not more than I love me.

I’d have never realized
That by embracing my aloneness
I’d find the true beginning of love
And witness its birth inside of me.

And so I cling to the silence
For as long as it must last
I invite the quiet until it gives way to laughter
I enjoy the solitude as it guides me to love

And I love you still
In the midst of it all
Just not more than me

A Resolution of Love

Each year I make out a list of goals and plans I swear to myself I will accomplish. This year is no different. There are goals I wish to accomplish and heights I want to achieve. I want to move forward. I believe that desire is the nature of man (humanity). But this year while I was pondering my list I realized that I could reduce it to a single concept; a base principle that if followed would help me to achieve all the other things. So this year my resolution for the New Year is love. Yeah I know it seems kinda hooky and simplistic but think about it: If I really practiced self love I will treat myself with respect. This means I would eat better and exercise more which would allow me to lose those pounds I vow to lose every year. I would honor my true heart passions and go for those auditions I always talk myself out of in the name of finance and stability and stick to my 1 hr daily writing schedule I set for myself so I can finally get my career moving again like I have promised myself I would for the last 5 years. I would acknowledge the fact that though I am extremely independent I really miss my family sometimes and I would call my mother and sisters more often. I would say no when I really didn’t want to do something and not make myself uncomfortable for the sake of other’s opinion of me. I would feel healthier and happier.
And consider if I looked at the world through eyes of love. I would see the need around me more vividly and commit myself to the volunteer and community work that I add to my resolution list every year. I would be more tolerant and be more willing to engage in the many discussions and forums I am invited to speak at or participate in yearly offering the knowledge that I have gained from study and experience and not see them as merely another argument waiting to happen. I would take the time to call my friends all over the country that I think of often but never seem to find the time to pick up the phone and call. I would set aside the time to pray for peace daily like I said I would and not just remember when I on the rare occasion watch the bombs go off in some distant land on the news because I watched instead of read my news that day.
With Love as my resolution all the others would be met. And from the heart space not some twisted place of obligation. Then at the end of my year I would feel accomplished and whole because even if all the things on my to do list didn’t get achieved I would know that what I did do was because of love and there’s no fault in that. Yeah, I think that from now own no matter what my goals for the year are my New Year’s resolution will always be love. There is no failure in love.
Happy New Year all! I wish you a wonderful year filled with love!

Compassion: A Key to a Life of Miracles

The most amazing thing about Jesus Christ to me is not his might or miracle working power. It is his immense capacity for compassion; the kind of compassion that didn’t allow him to ignore the plight of those around him. The kind of compassion that moved him to do miracles. Wow, could compassion be the key to a life of miracles; the ball that gets the whole thing rolling?
I mean think about it, if compassion compels you to do good to others from a place of understanding (Matt 7:12) then you are standing in a place of gratitude for being in a position to help. Likewise the person you are helping is also in gratitude for receiving at your hand. You have just increased the energetic vibration of abundance on the planet. Most traditions teach that Spirit (God/Goddess) loves a selfless and willing giver (2 Cor. 9:7) and that what you put out comes back to you (Gal. 6:7). So if we give of our time and resources out of a place of compassion and a true willingness to give we set in motion the universal rhythmic dance of giving and receiving. And the more we give, the more that is given to us (Luke 6:38).
That brings such clarity to Jesus’ words “…greater works than these shall he do because: I go to my father.”(John 14:12) He understood that once he relinquished his physical body, his ability to attend to the physical needs of those here would be restricted by physical law. He also realized he was just one as a physical being but we who would hear and understand his teachings were many. Collectively we could raise the vibration of the planet, by our sincere acts of compassion, to such a high frequency that miracles would become a much more common occurrence. Which I believe is why he encouraged us toward compassion by reinforcing the commandment to “love thy neighbor as thy self” Even going so far as to put it on near equal footing as the first commandment to love God(Matt 22:36-39). What completely amazing potential. We could actually realize those universal wishes espoused by pageant contestant the world over: Ending world hunger and peace on earth. And live a life that is truly miraculous in the process. What revolution could be born with the embracing of this “law of compassion?”