Friday, May 22, 2015

The Season for Seasons





When I was 7 yrs. old it was brought to my attention by my songstress big sister that all that singing I was doing ACTUALLY sounded pretty good. I've loved to sing since I've known what it was. To be a professional singer was the very first of my artistic dreams. It was soon followed by writing, acting and fashion... But music, she was my first love and I've never given up hope that one day she and I would ride off into the sunset with writing in tow. It is the dream that has kept and still keeps me going.

This desire to be an artist was probably the first real personal proclamation I set out into the universe only following "I love you Mommy," "I love you Daddy," and "God is Great. God is Good. Let us thank him for our food. Amen." Lol! It has directed my path through many an alley and I've navigated many a byway in pursuit of it... But regardless the disappointments that have arisen and because of the pure joy it has produced I have always hoped, even in the years I was life worn and too weary to work.

In 2011 after collecting a bit of funds I thought. "Finally, I have the money to at least self-produce." The world of the internet made it possible to find an audience and market directly to them. I called on my brother and longtime friend Aaron "Pillow Jones" Luster to rally his forces and tap his contacts to help me get this done. I gave him a date and declared "It’s on!" However, life threw me yet another one of those curves that always seem to materialize right when I'm on the brink of breaking through. I had to use the money for something else, “a survival thing” and sadly I had to tell Aaron to call off the troops. I was heartbroken, though I'd have never let it show on the outside.

Then In 2012 I said (to myself only) "if I'm ever going to do it... Then I better do. This could very well be my last chance." I had no idea how. I had no money and truthfully no resources. I wasn’t going to pull another false alarm with my friends, especially when I did not know where the money was coming from. Then one day in July 2012, out of the blue, my brother Aaron called me and asked “Are you still trying to do your project? I want to help you get it done.” I knew it was divine acknowledgment for me to move ahead. You see, that is how it’s been for me in the pursuit of this dream. Every time I am about to give up or my faith falters there in some type of intervention propelling me forward.  

So, Aaron asked me how much I could pay and then charged me $100 less than that. I did one song at a time gathering money between each song for the next. He enlisted the excellent Greg Anderson and they added their flavor to my lyrics and melodies. It was going slowly but it was happening. I found myself loving all the arrangements the fellas were giving me but acutely critiquing my vocal performance. It’s true, I have done some amazing thing with my voice in my lifetime and I found myself wondering if this was a good representation of what I could do. I found myself in a state of pause… 

Then in the summer of 2013 I fell ill. I hovered at deaths door and was brought back from the very brink. After healing, more accurately during healing, I realized that life really is too short to keep putting things off in hopes of an elusive perfection. I had to admit to myself that even though I could always do better work, that was not the reason for my hesitation. It was my fear of rejection. “What if I make this offering to the world and they reject me. What would become of that dream then?” And with that revelation I committed myself to getting it done.  I finished the last 2 songs for the project and also paid to get it mastered. By February on 2014 I had a complete project, but now the next hurdle was reproducing it. 

2014 was wrought with financial difficulties for me. Added medical expenses in light of the new condition I had to care for wreaked havoc on my budget. I had NO idea of where the money would come from to mass produce this completed project. Then one day last winter I was talking to my mother. She had known of my project and asked of it completion. She wanted to know when she would hear it. I explained to her that the project was complete but I was a little short on money to mass produce it and put it into the world. She asked what I needed to complete it. I told her but also told her she didn’t need to trouble herself about it though. I’d figure something out. But as she has done since I was young, she plotted a way to assist me in reaching my goals, even after I told her she needn’t do so, and in February she gave her financial assistance to my cause. 

On May 1st I offered to the world the EP recording “Seasons.” It is a testament to the enduring nature of hope and I pray a work that speaks to the heart all who hear it. And though I have appeared on compilations over the years, It is my very first offering to the world that is completely mine. I write songs daily to ensure it won’t be the last. It is my desire to produce increasingly better music from the heart that speaks to the heart of humanity and elevates us all. But even as I look to the future, I wanted to take this time, this moment in the now to offer gratitude to Spirit and all the earth angels in his/her employ who help make this dream a reality. It is truly the season for “Seasons.” And for this I am eternally grateful.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven..” ~Ecclesiastes 3

***If you haven’t yet had a chance to do so, please check out the EP Seasons on:

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