Unlikely Heroes

I am extremely excited about two new biopcs that are about to be shared with us, the viewing public. The stories of James Brown and Jimi Hendrix appeal to me as a musician, of course. Their influence on American music was so integral, that we would not have Rock, R&B, hip hop or Dance music of all sorts without it. But the appeal of these gentlemen’s stories goes far beyond their valuable contribution to American music and Pop Culture. Their stories appeal to me for the complexity of humanity that they both displayed. 

We are a society that CRAVES heroes. However, we want them pristine and without blemish. We leave no place for humanity with our iconography. The moment they show the slightest bit of human frailty we are ready to cast them aside and forget their many contributions. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way implying that poor decisions should not be accompanied by the appropriate consequences for those decision. Neither am I saying that people should not be called to task for some of the decisions they make in life by others who might productively show them the error of their ways. I’m just saying that one, two or even three poor decisions should not define the totality of a person existence. And even if the decisions they make bring about their eventual demise it does not negate the contributions they make to the big picture of humanity's progression. It is hard to determine what people are providing to the world in the present tense. We usually only realize the part people play in the grand plan once we are looking back on them in the context of history.

These gentlemen’s stories remind me of the biblical account of King David. In all accounts he was a murder and adulterer. There is no denying that. However he was also a valiant warrior and his presence united a nation.

Similarly these men whose lives were problematic and riddled with questionable or downright poor decisions were able to unit a nation, if but for a moment, under the universal language of music. Not only did they effect the space in time in which they inhabited, they each provided a body of work that inspired every generation of musicians that followed them. Their lives are inspirational to me, not because they were flawless, no. I am inspired by the story of flawed humans like these who show us that we can be both imperfect and impactful; People whose stories, rife with slips, falls and short comings, are still able to show that there are contributions to be made even if we don’t have it all together. And THIS is the reason I am excited about these as well as most honest biographical movies. If done with true perspective they allow the viewer to see that these people they idolize are no better than they are. And hopefully it excites in the viewer an understanding that they too, in all their humanness, has the ability to do great things. 

We ARE a society that craves heroes. It is my belief that when we start allowing them to be the flawed, imperfect humans that we all are, more will arise to fulfill their part in the grand design. We are all in some way, unlikely heroes.

To Be Lesbian, Christian and Black (With My Soul Intact)

Some of the most dedicated disciples of the heart and principles of Christ that I know are also queer. This is not a statement I would have dreamed could be made as a Pentecostal girl growing up. The interpretation of scripture that was presented to me in my youth allowed very little room for deviation from the accepted religious norms. There was a dogmatic enforcement of perceived understanding that left me often both wanting and isolated in my pursuit to understand Spirit in relation to myself. 

I have always desired to understand and experience the oneness of a connection to Divinity. Even as a teenager I develop a practice of private daily prayer in an attempt at intimacy with the Divine Creative Source of the universe. It was the first personal decision I feel I made in my spiritual life. This practice was different from the bedtime prayers required by my parents, pre-adolescence. It was a conversation with the Source of the universe in a quest for clarity and connection. And it provided me a vehicle to sustain myself as I navigated my way through the religions of the world.

Yes, I experimented with religions in my twenties like most people do with drugs. LOL I wanted a relationship with the Divine but felt that who I understood myself to be was in direct opposition with what I was told God was. You see, I’ve known with more than a little certainty that I was same gender loving since I was 16 and coming from the tradition I had been raised in, being Christian and Queer could not coexist. As the daughter, granddaughter, niece & sister of several Pentecostal preachers, for me “Gay” wasn’t an option. 

At first I tried to deny the truth of who I was in hopes that it was ”just a phase” that would pass. It did not. So for a while I conceded to being a "sinner." That didn’t work for me either, because even in the midst of my attempts at debauchery I continued my evening “conversations” with who/what I understood as God. I mean how unruly can you really be when you have a standing bedtime appointment with God. (SMILE) So, I decided to “sample” some other religious expressions. Surely I could find one that would help me achieve the oneness I was looking for and allow me to live authentically and embrace myself completely. 

After investigating both traditional and NOI/Black Islam, Buddhism, Shintoism and Christ consciousness. I studied New World Yoruba expressions like Santeria and Candomble. With my DEEP Christian roots I saw them all through the lens of Christian scripture and was brought to a very real and universal understanding. At the heart of every practice there were 2 consistent truths 1) Love the creator (whatever it was called) with all that you have and 2) show that love of him/her/it by being compassionate to your fellow humans. Love & compassion were the key to that oneness I was seeking. In this I saw the clarity of Jesus’ Statement: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matt 22:37-40 NIV) This was a liberating concept that would send me on a journey to freedom. That journey is how I learned that freedom is TRULY a process! I get a little freer every day.

My path to freedom took me through finding a love that forced me to confront my demons and work more diligently to truly understand scripture in relation to cultural and historical context, then to releasing that love because she had done her service and played her part according to divine plan. It took me through 2 ordination with 2 different spiritual expressions so that I could learn to relate, honor, respect and embrace all people’s paths. It lead me to finding the love of my life who saw the God in me and encouraged me to share what I had learned in a lifetime of seeking with her at the very least, though she felt (and feels) what I’ve gained is for the world and tells me so almost every day. I crossed paths with other pilgrims to freedom that crushed my notions that all Christian queer folk (if there were any) were either in the closet about their queerness or their Christianity.

Now, I understand Divinity as the Life Force Energy that flows through the entire universe. It expresses as Humanity, the Animal Kingdom, Plant Life and the very Cosmos itself. I believe that through the course of human history that Life Force Energy has expressed itself in human form of varied gender identities as examples of what connection to that Source Life Force Energy looks like, to remind the rest of us. I connect most with the expression recognized by the planet as Jesus, known to some as the Christ but acknowledge there are many who have and do walk among us who others may connect to/with more closely. It is a Christianity that allows me to bridge the gap between the little girl who grew up longing to connect to that God of her youth and the Adult that understand connecting to the Source begins with compassion for self and others. And I am enjoying the privilege of sharing one on one inspiration with others whose brush with Christianity fell short of accomplishing the great commission: to spread the good news that Jesus is the expressed image of Love, and the understanding that Love can offer rest from the toils and pressures of this human experience we are having.

And though it seems contradictory to what we see expressed in American society today, My Christian upbringing provided me a lens to see the universality of all spiritual expressions. And understanding THAT… saved my soul.

Oh My Maya (For Maya Angelou)

I wrote this piece a year ago. It came in a sudden flash of inspiration. I wasn't reading any of her work at the time, Nor had I seen her on any program or in any speaking engagement in proximity of the time I wrote it. Her love is so, that she is in your heart like a "kin" that you think of often even though you don't always get to see. And the love you have for her just shows up needing to be expressed. That is the place this came from. I offer it tonight to her... for the journey, and to us... for the solace. She stands among the ancestors now. Ashe' and Blessed Be...

Oh My Maya (For Maya Angelou)

She’s every ebony woman’s mother
An elder stateswoman of the noblest kind
She is the joy that lives in our hearts,
And the black beauty of our mind
She is the courage of our convictions
And the voice of our resolve
The singer of our afflictions
With word whispered from above
She is the phenomenon that ignited us
To live beyond the cage
A voice of black womanhood
In this present age
She has been our bright and shining star
Through many a dark night
And in our glories and triumphs
She’s been there to write
Those things that fill our hearts
But we cannot find words to say
Painting vivid pictures
Of our brightest days
Oh Dear Mother Maya
I am grateful you walked this mortal plain
Your presence has lifted our soul a little higher
May it be said of us the same.